A Link to the Past was a difficult game for me to choose for 8-bit summer camp for multiple reasons. And none of them are reasonable. First off, I have only ever liked 3.5 Zelda games. I love Majora’s Mask, Windwaker, and Oracle of Ages/Season (which I count as 1.5 games). Every other Zelda game I have ever played I have hated — especially Ocarina of Time. Ocarina is a Zelda game for fanboys who have very little concept of how poorly some games age and how deep their nostalgia is. Ocarina looks like shit, plays like shit, and is boring as paste. I have absolutely no problem saying this, because that is how opinions work and I am entitled to hate it if i so please. And, baby, I so please.

So, what does this have to do with A Link to the Past? Well, I totally went into this game expecting it to be a shit-terrible, no-fun experience. Nintendo already mastered 2d Zelda, and it was called Oracles (fuck your release timeline). I am here today to say that, despite my predetermination to despise Zelda games (bad ones, which is most of them), I actually did not mind A Link to the Past. It is a fun game if nothing else. It is not better than any of the ZeldaQuoteones I mentioned previously, but it is actually playable which puts it a step ahead for a Zelda game.

A Link to the Past is exactly the kind of Zelda games they should still be making. Short, handheld experiences that are fun to play and easy to break up into pieces. The problem with games like Ocarina is that they are overlong and full of dead end shit I don’t want to play, and there are very few places to stop in them. Zelda has no fucking story to speak of ever, which makes it perfect for playing on a handheld as well. I have nothing to pay attention to anyways, so I’ll be damned if I’m not stopping in the middle of where i want. The structure of the game is also perfect for this kind of consumption. As I write this I’m working myself into a froth about how much I hate recent console Zeldas. Why are they so bad, guys? I seriously don’t get it. Who ever wanted a game like Twilight Princess? What a hunk of shit served on a shit console with a shit controller.

A Link to the Past is not a game I played and got immersed in the experience. I spent most of the time getting angry and wondering why they stopped making games like this. This game is not even that good in the grand scheme of games, but it is so fucking good for a Zelda game. Terrible art style aside (fuck whoever design Link), this game is a must play for anyone that hates how bad Zelda is. So go play this game. Do NOT  go play other Zelda games (unless it’s one of the good ones).

Fuck Ocarina of Time, and fuck people that like it. Peace out.